National Pastime Radio

NPR has had several baseball segments in recent days on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, The Leonard Lopate Show, The Brian Lehrer Show, and Only a Game.

Leading off (this isn’t in chronological order) is comedian Jessi Klein who was featured in WWDTM‘s “Not My Job” portion of the program.

SAGAL: Well, Jessi Klein, we’re delighted to have you. We have asked you here to play a game that this time we’re calling?

CARL KASSEL, host:

Stool Ball. Rounders. Pilka Palantowa.

SAGAL: All of which were early names for what has become the game of baseball.

Ms. KLEIN: Oh god.

SAGAL: As this season gets underway, we thought we’d ask you three questions about the early history of the game, taken from the book, “Baseball,” by George Vecsey. Get two right, you’ll win our prize for one of our listeners, Carl’s voice on their home answering machine.

Ms. KLEIN: It’s so exciting. I’m ready.

SAGAL: Carl, who is Jessi playing for?

KASELL: Jessi is playing for Robert Perry of Seattle, Washington.

SAGAL: All right.

Ms. KLEIN: Awesome.

SAGAL: Here we go the first question. First things first, baseball wasn’t invented by Abner Doubleday at Cooperstown in the 19th century. That’s a myth. There were actually lots of versions of bat and ball games, going back centuries, including a German game called Ball with Free Station, which had what interesting rule? A: runners must skip from base to base. B: when throwing out a runner at a base, the fielder must yell, burned! Or C: the batter is allowed to carry the bat with him as he rounds the bases and uses it to fend off attempts to tag him out.

Ms. KLEIN: Wow. God, all so believable.

SAGAL: You bet.

Ms. KLEIN: I’m going to rule out – so this is German?

SAGAL: Uh-huh.

Ms. KLEIN: I’m going to rule out skipping then.

SAGAL: Yeah, they’re not…

Ms. KLEIN: That feels like too happy a mood of transportation. I’m going to C; the fending off sounds like that’s in their wheelhouse.

SAGAL: Sadly, it was actually B. The fielder has to shout burned as he throws the runner out at the base.

Ms. KLEIN: Oh man.

SAGAL: I feel that baseball should have retained that rule.

All right, you still have two more chances. The first umpire was introduced in the game in 1845. But the role of the umpire at first was a little different. What did the umpire do at that time? A: he sat at a table by the side of the field wearing a top hat and sometimes tails, ready to adjudicate any disputes. B: he held a pistol to keep anyone from attacking anyone else with a bat. Or C: he awarded points to each team for style.

Ms. KLEIN: I think the – oh God. This is like as boring as baseball. I only mean just trying – me thinking about these answers, not you telling me the possible answers. I’m going to go with A, old timey hat.

SAGAL: You’re right.

Ms. KLEIN: Thank God.

SAGAL: So the players were allowed to determine calls themselves, but if there was a disagreement, they’d go over and see what the guy in the hat had to say about it. All right, you can win it all just by getting this last question right.

Ms. KLEIN: Nothing has ever meant more to me. Let’s do this.

SAGAL: Let’s do this. The first great baseball star was Creighton of the Brooklyn Niagras, famed for his speedball pitch. His career ended suddenly in 1862, when what happened? A: he decided to quit and try to make his fortune in the more appealing new game, foot polo. B: he was caught up in the first American sports celebrity sex scandal, with an avid fan named Fanny Mayhaps. Or C: he killed himself when he swung too hard at a pitch.

Ms. KLEIN: Wow, that question ended on a real downer.

SAGAL: It did.

Ms. KLEIN: It was comedy, comedy, comedy, very grim.

SAGAL: Wow. I like this annotation before we get to an answer, this is great.

Ms. KLEIN: Yeah. I have to say my immediate gut instinct is that the answer if B, the sex scandal, because I feel like…

SAGAL: With Fanny Mayhaps?

Ms. KLEIN: Oh shoot. I don’t think I listened to the name before. Shoot.

Ms. ROXANNE ROBERTS (Columnist, Reliable Source): It’s not for sure.

SAGAL: That sultry siren.

Ms. ROBERTS: She wasn’t for…

SAGAL: Fanny Mayhaps.

Ms. ROBERTS: Mayhaps.

SAGAL: It was Fanny Mayhaps.

Ms. KLEIN: All right, well I don’t think it’s the downer of C. I guess A, although I don’t think foot polo sounds any crazier than Fanny Mayhaps. Personally, those sound equally silly times. Can I just say A, B and C?

SAGAL: No, you have to pick one. Pick one, be firm. Go.

Ms. KLEIN: Could all of three things happen to him in like one day?

SAGAL: He had a sex scandal, quit to play foot polo and then took one last fatal swing.

Ms. KLEIN: He couldn’t live with the bad press off the sex scandal.

SAGAL: It was an interesting day. No, here we go. This is it. You have to make your final choice. Go. What is it?

Ms. KLEIN: I’m going to go with A.

SAGAL: You’re going to go with A. That’s all right. That’s her choice.

Ms. KLEIN: I’m sticking with A.

SAGAL: It’s C. It was all along.

Ms. KLEIN: Nice.

SAGAL: It was C. What happened was he swung so hard that he actually caused internal injuries and he died three days later. The good news: hit a homerun.

Mr. BODETT: I mean what a way to go.

Ms. KLEIN: I mean I’m sorry. Wow, I feel like I really blew it in the last five minutes of this.

Mr. BODETT: It was more like ten.

Ms. KLEIN: Amazing.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Jessi do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Jessi had just one correct answer, Peter, and that’s not enough to win for Robert Perry.

Ms. KLEIN: Oh man. I couldn’t feel more sorry and embarrassed.

Mr. BODETT: That’s the goal.

SAGAL: There you go. That’s why we’re here.

Ms. KLEIN: We all got what we came for.

* * *

Last week, Boston Red Sox Tim Wakefield was as guest on The Jim Lehrer Show to talk about his new book, Knuckler: My Life with Baseball’s Most Confounding Pitch, written — ostensibly — with Tony Massoratti, a sportswriter with the Boston Globe. I use the word “with” advisedly because, as I read it, it seemed to be written by Massoritti. Unless Wakefield goes around referring to himself in the third person.

I sent an email to the publisher, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, asking for a clarification, but as of this writing, no one has gotten back to me. Maybe I’ll write to Massoratti.

* * *

John Thorn is making the rounds, as is to be expected. He was on The Leonard Lopate Show on March 31.

Bob Luke was on OAG to discuss his new biography of Negro league owner Effa Manley, as was Jimmy Breslin to talk about his book on Branch Rickey. And one more — Dan Barry for his book on that 33-inning marathon between Pawtucket Red Sox and the Rochester Red Wings some 30 years ago.