Baseball Bookshelf “Drinking” Game

There are several popular drinking games around; one of my favorite focuses on the television show Lost.

Since there are so many similar themes in baseball books, I though I’d try my hand a creating one of my own. So with your kind indulgence:

If someone refers to Jaques Barzun and/or the quote: “Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball,” have a glass of French wine (two glasses for the full quote, which ends “the rules, and reality of the game.”)
If the author refers to baseball as a”metaphor life,” have a bowl of Life cereal
If the author refers to “the game of baseball,” as opposed to simply baseball, roll your eyes
If the title of the book includes the words “Greatest” or ” Best,” have a drink of any beverage that claims to be the best.
If the subject of the book is a “one-hit” wonder — i.e., a player who had either one great year or was a member of a pennant or World Series-winning team — have a glass of champagne; two if he wasn’t a regular.
If the book was obviously not written by a player, but gives no credit to a co-author, have a drink of the most bitter brew you can find.
If the author of a non-fiction book set in the late 19th or early 20th century offers dialogue without any attribution, have a glass of mead. If s/he admits s/he is making up the conversations based on their research and considered opinion, have a glass of magic elixir, since neither of them exist in reality.
If more than six books hit the market at the same time on the same subject (i.e., all those farewells to Yankee Stadium), buy a six-pack.
If a list of “best baseball fiction” can come up with just The Natural or anything by W.P. Kinsella, throw the list away.
If the title of the book connotes the sorrows, frustrations, etc. of being a Cubs, Red Sox, Mets or other team’s fans, cry in your beer.
If the book claims to be “based on” an event, see the previous entry about “dialog”
If the author in radio or TV interview utters anything akin to the phrase “As I say in the book,” turn off the radio/TV and just read the book.
If a non-fiction author makes an egregious error, such as putting a dead person in a situation he could not possibly be in, burn the book and send the ashes to the author.