TV Classic: Deconstructing "Baseball Bugs"

I received an advance copy of The Best American Sports Writing, 2007 yesterday. One of the first items I noticed, since I was scanning specifically for baseball, was Derek Zumsteg’s “Bugs Bunny, Greatest Banned Player Ever,” a deconstruction of the 1946 Looney Tunes classic, “Baseball Bugs,” in which the title character takes on a goonish bunch of players in the old days when the good guy always won.

Zumsteg, author of the recently-published The Cheater’s Guide to Baseball, wrote the piece as an entry on his blog, U.S.S. Mariner. It’s works much better there, since he includes several frames from the cartoon (which are much sharper and more colorful than the animation) to illustrate his points, which fall into the territory of “This guy has way too much time on his hands.” Nevertheless, it’s a fascinating, thoughtful examination.

Herewith a few thoughts. It’s proably a good idea to watch the cartoon first.

From where does the pitcher get the new balls? If the hit was a homer, the bases would be clear. Since they are obviously not, the ball should come from one of his teammates or an umpire. Since his back is to us, obscuring our view, perhaps there’s an underground conveyance that keeps him in fresh supply. Didn’t Oakland As owner Charles O. Finley work on something like that?
Zumsteg writes,
- “At one point, we are able to see over thirty [Gashouse] Gorillas circling the bases, so close that they actually put their hands on the person in front of them and form a conga line as they walk around the bases, careful not to pass the person in front of them. That there are over thirty tells us several things: The teams were allowed to carry a full major league roster. In the carnage, even the Gorilla coaches, bat boys, and other uniformed staff were able to bat and hit against the weak pitching, and neither the Teatotallers nor the umpires notice this and called the illegal batters out.
- What was the major league rule for roster size was in 1946? I’m thinking they were smaller than they are these days. The average number of players per National League team was 41 that year. I have not looked at prior or later years, but I would imagine the return of ballplayers from WWII influenced the numbers to some degree. Add on a manager, some coaches (there were fewer in those days), and bat boys (I’m not sure who the “other uniformed staff” would be) and Zumsteg’s premise about works out; there are obviously several players in the conga line (I came up with an estimate of eight) that are not visible given the “camera angle.”
I must respectfully disagree with Zumsteg’s contention that the Gorillas were “bored.” Bunny clearly calls them out:
- “Boo,” he cries from his “seat.” “The Gashouse Gorillas are a bunch of doity players. Why, I could lick them in a ballgame with one hand tied behind my back, all by myself, yeh. I’d get up there and, wham! A homer. Wham! Another homer. Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wha…” At which point one of the Gorillas grabs Bugs by the throat and growls: “All right, big shot!” (blows cigar smoke in his face). “So you think you can beat us all by yourself,” (loads the equipment on him). “Well you got yourself a game.”

Bugs immediately starts off at a disadvantage since the game resumes, rather than starts over (“There’s been a slight change in the Teatotaller lineup…” It’s also interesting that even though he plays every position, the pitcher is the one batting cleanup), so he’s already in a 96-0 hole (although, as Zumsteg notes, by the bottom of the ninth the Gorillas have lost a run and trailed 96-95).

Zumsteg describes how Bunny faces “an unconventional defensive alignment in which all nine Gorillas for up off the third base line.” A closer look indicates that, depending on the point of view — although it would seem to be from the first base side — many of the players start out in foul territory, which, of course, is illegal.

Despite these picayune points, Zumsteg deserves kudos for his diligence in bringing back a cherished memory from childhood days, and for having it recognized as one of the great sports stories of the year.